Plumbers Do not Put on Ties, one of many worst video games ever made, is getting a remaster. This crime towards nature was introduced by Restricted Run as a part of their latest showcase which, amongst different issues, included a remastered GEX trilogy and a non secular successor to Zelda CD-i.

I’ll have to show to my colleagues’ opinion on this one, as a result of I’ve by no means performed Plumbers Do not Put on Ties—and after a little bit of analysis, I am grateful. Nonetheless, I’ve thrown on the marigolds to dive into what precisely this absolutely motion-captured factor is, so you do not have to.

Here is an excerpt from the again of the field: “Greed, intercourse, spirituality, white-knuckled chases, shameful propositions, a nun, humour, real love, jaded love, taut motion, comedy, a nasty man, man, a hero, spine-tingling suspense, a sizzling babe, a damsel in misery, and a hollywood ending!” That is quite a bit to absorb.

What Plumbers Do not Put on Ties seems to truly be, nonetheless, is a god-forsaken relic of a time where you could possibly purchase sure VHS tapes in a brown bag. It is meant to be a ‘full movement video’ game like 1992’s Evening Lure. The game itself—and ‘game’ is doing plenty of heavy lifting right here—performs out extra like “a PowerPoint presentation with audio cues”, as PC Gamer’s personal Steven Messner wrote in 2017.

Simply to verify I used to be getting the complete plumber expertise, I regarded up some gameplay footage and—sure. That’s correct. Plumbers Do not Put on Ties begins with Jane, performed by Jeane Basone—identified in wrestling as Hollywood—warning me that she’ll be holding an eye fixed out for my slip-ups: “I belief it will not be the primary time you have made errors with the other intercourse.”

Then this.

An image from Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, featuring two text boxes, one reading:

(Picture credit score: United Pixtures, Kirin Entertainments Inc.)

Deciding on “Gimmie full story!” begins a literal slideshow with a voice over crunchy sufficient to interrupt your tooth. I am sorry for ever doubting you, Steven. He additionally famous that Jon Smith gave it a “3 out of 100 in PC Gamer’s July 1994 subject” and, whereas I haven’t got that subject handy, I am inclined to belief that evaluation.

The remaster itself guarantees extra extra options than you possibly can shake a plunger at. It will shake the crust off its terribly dated photograph graphics, naming them “nicer” with an ominous asterisk. It additionally comes with unique interviews with the cast and creators, in addition to James Rolfe—in any other case referred to as the Offended Video Game Nerd—who reviewed the game in 2009.

A comparison image of the original graphics of Plumbers Don't Wear Ties to its remastered version. The picture is of three characters chasing after each other. The text reads:

(Picture credit score: United Pixtures, Kirin Entertainments Inc.)

The interviews included within the trailer describe the game as a “grease fireplace”, with one interviewee admitting that he is “giving it an excessive amount of credit score”. Regardless of the horrors this game is, like many remnants of its period, an web darling. Rolfe’s evaluate of it has over 9.2 million views on Youtube, throwing it into cult basic trash standing—like Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, however for players.

Richard Cobett wrote about Plumbers Do not Put on Ties in his Crapshoot Column on the weird scenes from the game: “Simply pondering these moments I am unable to assist however really feel just a bit higher concerning the world we dwell in; each as a spot of surprise where such issues can occur and develop a life past anybody’s desires, and likewise not so unhealthy about about its inevitable doom and destruction.”

Restricted Run appears to be on a mission to revive the 90’s most obscure and cursed artefacts, and I am truthfully right here for it. They’re counting on nostalgia like one depends on acid to burn by means of metal, and it has me excited to expertise items of gaming tradition I missed. I am unable to, nonetheless, promise that I will be sitting by means of Plumbers Do not Put on Ties. I am going to simply recognize it from afar. Perhaps in a hazmat go well with.