I by no means actually gave a lot thought to it, however a pc restore enterprise could be a wonderful place to run a legal enterprise. You are handing your treasured PC to an entire stranger to repair it, however who’s to say what else they’re going to do whereas they’ve entry to your field of digital goodies? They might snoop by means of your information, steal your information, secretly set up malicious packages, and even change a pleasant little bit of your {hardware} with a crummy substitute.

I’ve already executed all of that within the first couple hours of first-person sim Pc Restore Store, and that is simply the tip of the iceberg (the iceberg on this metaphor is crime). As an illustration, how many individuals would you guess I’ve overwhelmed to demise with a baseball bat on this laptop restore sim? Did you guess 4? For those who guessed 4, you might be right. It is 4.

I’ve overwhelmed 4 individuals to demise. With a baseball bat. On this laptop restore sim.

Laborious dive

My story of violent crime and occasional PC restore begins after I get up and head to the retail area I will be managing in… effectively, I am undecided what a part of the world that is alleged to be, however I will simply name it hell. The corridors of this shopping center are practically pitch black and crowded with luggage of trash, buzzing flies, and jerkily-animated NPCs with useless eyes and clean expressions.

It seems my store is occupied by what the game generally refers to as “homeless vagrants” and generally as “raiders,” so I want to rent a personality down the corridor named “Steroid Man” to deal with it. Steroid Man sells me a baseball bat for $50, however then stalks off to maintain the squatters himself. The raiders instantly beat him to demise. (I assume it is to demise, as his physique hits the ground and vanishes.) At this level I truly cease taking part in for a minute and ensure I’ve put in the appropriate game. I believed this was about… fixing computer systems?

Pc Restore Store (?)”

I try to take care of the raiders myself, however when I attempt to swing the bat I as a substitute abruptly place it on the ground. As I am being punched and kicked to demise, I discover the on-screen immediate to make use of my bat is right-click to assault, however left-click to “construct.” What the hell form of motion is “construct” while you’re holding a baseball bat? 

After a little bit of experimentation, I uncover that on this game “construct” truly means “place” and that is true it doesn’t matter what I am holding on this game: a field, a bat, a cat, a unadorned woman robotic (I will clarify her later). It is a bizarre phrase to make use of as a substitute of “drop” or “put down” and can proceed to confuse me for fairly a while.

As soon as I’ve obtained my verbs sorted out, I beat the raiders to demise with my bat, then “construct” my bat within the again room (by which I imply place it on the ground.) I spend the subsequent a number of minutes sweeping the shop and scrubbing the partitions of filth and graffiti, earlier than inserting (constructing) my broom towards the wall. Having killed three individuals and swept, it is lastly time to start my profession as a pc restore particular person!

GP… eww

(Picture credit score: Cheesecake Dev)

A person walks in, locations (builds?) a PC on a wooden pallet, and wordlessly leaves. Fortunately, a sticky be aware explains the scenario along with his laptop: the man purchased a stolen PC from a thief, but it surely will not boot. I assume he cannot precisely ask for a refund.

After rooting round inside his laptop, I resolve the thriller: there is no energy provide. I order him a brand new energy provide utilizing my pill, which arrives through drone (immediately this grubby low-tech world is stuffed with futuristic units), set up it, and go to the put up workplace down the corridor to ship it again to him.

My subsequent buyer is an emaciated man who chooses to face within the foyer of my store the whole time I am working, which is creepy as hell. He tells me he is a porn addict who has forgotten his password (you possibly can have simply advised me you forgot your password, dude). I have to get him logged in and clear the PC of viruses and dirt and hopefully nothing else.

Being a shady PC restore man, I’ve entry to a flash drive stuffed with doubtful software program like a password cracker, so I stick the drive in his PC, hack his password, and set up an antivirus program that finds 300 viruses. I additionally level a compressed air duster at his laptop for a whole action-packed minute, then give the PC again to him. To this point, issues are going fairly effectively and I’ve virtually forgotten concerning the individuals I brutally bludgeoned a couple of minutes in the past.

(Picture credit score: Cheesecake Dev)

My subsequent few prospects are a mixture of straightforward and onerous jobs. One buyer is a lady in a bikini, due to course, who simply wants a CPU repaired. One other man drops off his laptop with a complete checklist of requests, together with overclocking his PC and putting in video games. Another person retains getting a BSOD. Diagnosing and fixing a few of these issues is kinda enjoyable, although after just a few prospects the requests rapidly start repeating.

I additionally get some dangerous information on the finish of the day: apparently whereas I used to be within the again room fidgeting with passwords and CPUs, somebody snuck into my disgusting retailer and stole one of many computer systems ready to be serviced. That is a serious defeat for me: not solely do I lose out on that paycheck, I truly must pay a whole bunch of {dollars} to the shopper whose PC I misplaced. 

I pay a lady for a lap dance however she simply does the horse trot from Gangnam Model

The following day I spend just a little time exploring the shopping center to see what else there’s to do on this game that can also be dubiously tagged “life sim” on Steam. There is a strip membership, naturally, where I pay a lady for a lap dance however she simply does the horse trot from Gangnam Model. I play blackjack and win 100 bucks, which I spend on a unadorned woman robotic from a person in a retailer (his identify is “Sellerman,” which together with Steroid Man from earlier makes me surprise if Kojima was a advisor on this game). 

(Picture credit score: Cheesecake Dev)

I do not know what to do with this robotic so I carry it round for some time and ultimately simply construct it (place it) in my retailer, where it does completely nothing. There is a cat that hangs round my store, and I choose it up however cannot do something with it however put it again down. I additionally go to a shady man who sells me a ticket to an in-game simulation of The Backrooms, which is much more boring than wandering across the hallways in Pc Restore Sim. 

Again on the store I take care of the rising stack of damaged PCs individuals are always dropping off, performing kind of the identical actions as I did yesterday: changing elements, diagnosing dangerous sectors on drives, dusting, and hacking passwords. On the finish of the day I as soon as once more study a robber stole yet one more PC from my store. My earnings are gonna hold plunging except I discover some strategy to cease this man.

Case closed

(Picture credit score: Cheesecake Dev)

The following day after some extra aimless wandering and blackjack (I lose fairly a bit of money) I stroll into the entrance of my store and see a shirtless man with a balaclava hunched over a PC. It is the thief! I am unable to afford to lose one other $400 bucks in a day where I’ve in all probability solely made about $400 bucks.

“Where did I construct my bat? Where did I construct my bat?” I say to myself, actually, out loud. I sprint into the again room, seize my bat from the nook, run again out into the opposite room, then hit the robber with it. He instantly keels over and vanishes. My fourth kill. Perhaps I ought to be a hitman as a substitute of a pc restore man. I may positively take over Steroid Man’s territory.

Perhaps I ought to be a hitman as a substitute of a pc restore man

As an alternative, I rent a safety guard to face exterior my store, and somewhat than hitting robbers with a bat he simply shoots them on sight. That is concerning the time I give up taking part in—one thing about repairing disgusting PCs in a grubby store in a dirty mall and listening to the occasional sharp crack of gunfire signifying one other PC thief has met his finish immediately feels… gosh, a tad disagreeable. Additionally, I ran out of cash because of blackjack and the shockingly excessive worth of murderous safety guards.

Nothing about Pc Restore Ship is especially good, which is a disgrace as a result of there’s the inkling of an honest sim buried deep down in its filthy core. I like diagnosing prospects’ laptop issues, it simply wants much more variation. I additionally like the thought of snooping round in somebody’s private information, however not like on this sim, there ought to truly be some attention-grabbing stuff to search out. And the great factor is that should you get the simulation stuff in your simulation game right, you do not have to cram in a bunch of different crap like blackjack, strippers, and bare robots simply to hold individuals .