Miriel, the Pastor of Vows, in any other case often known as that one turtle canine everybody desires to pet from Elden Ring, has been reworked by Youtooz right into a plushie. My sudden, all-consuming urge to crush it with each arms is likely to be the primary time I’ve felt something violent in direction of this man.

In the event you’ve not performed Elden Ring, Miriel is an enormous turtle in a pope hat that hangs out on the Church of Vows, capable of absolve your sins and provide you with religion magic. When you have performed Elden Ring and also you have not discovered him, this is a guide on how to do this, since you ought to.

He additionally occurs to be the chillest NPC in all of FromSoftware canon, simply barely beating Solaire—identified by the fanbase as “solar bro”—out of the operating. And now he is right here, in the actual world. You possibly can pet him. What a time to be alive.

A plushie of the Turtle Pope from Elden Ring, looking like a happy camper.

(Picture credit score: FromSoftware / Youtooz)

The outline, punctuated fully with exclamation factors, guarantees that the plushie is “9 inches tall”, “packed to the seams with 100% PP cotton”, and “completely good for cuddling”. I do kind of assume it seems like a regular turtle plushie design with a pope hat stapled to it, however Miriel’s in-game equal is only a literal turtle with a hat, so it is becoming.

The turtle pope plushie solely ships to america and Canada, which fills my UK coronary heart with an incandescent rage and a bottomless sorrow, and can run you $29.99 USD. There are additionally a few much less cuddly Elden Ring gadgets accessible, akin to a statue of Iron First Alexander or Melina, however do both actually hold a candle to turtle pope? I believe not.